英语笑话几则（摘自互联网） (4/272)

　　　 "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　　 "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　    狗也知道这个谚语吗？

　　　 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

　　　“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

　　　“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

　　THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word "Sex" had been spelled with an "o". One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to "Sox": "Usually brown."

 
　　某学校发给学生的健康调查表里有个错别字——把“性别”的“性”字写成了“袜”字。一位母亲在为她的儿子填写表格时，在“袜别”的那栏填上了：“棕色为主。”

　　[注] 英语中sex（性）与sox（袜）只有一个字母之差。

　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　  医生住在楼下

　　“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。

　　“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”

　　他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

　One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.

　　On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the
 most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

　　My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

　　哪一位女人？

　　一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，

　　回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”

　　我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”